Secret 10 Trustworthiness

— Posted in12 Secrets of Successful Families, Awake!, Bible Study, Christian Living, Lifelong Learning 📚 Library, Spiritual Satisfaction — 3 min read

 Obeying your parents is like paying off a debt to the bank. The more reliable you are, the more trust (or credit) you will receive

WHAT IT MEANS
Trustworthy people earn the confidence of their parents, friends, and employers, and employers. They abide by the rules, keep their promises, and always tell the truth.

WHY IT MATTERS
In almost every case, the amount of freedom you receive is directly related to the level of trust you have earned over time. 

“The best way to earn your parents’ trust is to demonstrate that you are mature and responsible, not only when you are with them but also when they are not around.” — Sarahi.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “Keep proving what you yourselves are.” — 2 Corinthians 13:5.

WHAT YOU CAN DO
Whether you want to earn more trust or regain lost trust, the following steps can help.

Be honest. Nothing will shatter others’ trust in you quicker than lies. Conversely, when you are open and honest — especially about your mistakes –you can earn the trust of others.

“It’s easy to be honest when things are going well. But being honest about things that cast you in a bad light goes a long way in building trust.” — Caiman.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “We wish to conduct ourselves honestly in all things.” — Hebrews 13:18.

Be dependable. In one U.S. survey, 78 percent of human-resource professionals indicated that reliability was “one of the three most important skills for entry-level positions.” Learning to be dependable now will benefit you as an adult.

“My parents notice when I’m responsible and do my chores without their having to nag me. The more I show initiative like that, the more they reward it with their trust.” — Sarah.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “I am confident that you will comply…knowing that you will do even more than what I say.” — Philemon 21.

Be patient. Unlike physical growth, which is readily apparent to others, time is often needed for others to recognize emotional and mental growth. 

“There’s no single act that can earn the trust of your parents and others. But you can build it gradually if you’re consistently responsible over time.” — Brandon.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “Clothe yourselves with…patience.” — Colossians 3:12.

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Secret 11 Industriousness

— Posted in12 Secrets of Successful Families, Awake!, Bible Study, Christian Living, Lifelong Learning 📚 Library, Spiritual Satisfaction — 3 min read

  Learning to work hard is like exercising; it benefits you now and in the future.

WHAT IT MEANS
Industrious people do not shy away from work. Rather, they enjoy working hard to provide for their personal needs and to help others — even if the work they do is not glamourous.

WHY IT MATTERS
Like it or not, life is full of responsibilities. In a world where many dislike the idea of working hard, being industrious puts you at an advantage. — Ecclesiastes 3:13.

“I’ve learned that when you work hard, you get a sense of pride and inner satisfaction. That feeling of inner satisfaction has actually caused me to like work. Having a strong work ethic will help you build a good reputation too.” — Reyon.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “There is benefit in every kind of hard work.” — Proverbs 14:23.

WHAT YOU CAN DO
Cultivate a positive view of work by following the steps outlined here.

Take pride in learning to do something well. Whether you are doing chores, finishing your assigned homework, or engaging in secular work, immerse yourself in what you are doing. Once you can perform a task well, look for ways to improve — doing it faster or better. The more skillful you are, the more you will enjoy your work.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “Have you seen a man skillful at his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before common men.” — Proverbs 22:29.

See the bigger picture. In almost every case, when you care for your responsibilities well, you benefit others. For example, when you are industrious about your chores, you lighten the load for others in your family.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “There is more happiness in giving than in receiving.” — Acts 20:35.

Go the extra mile. Instead of doing just the bare minimum, try to do more than you are required to do. In this way, you are in control of your life — doing more, not because you are forced to, but because you choose to. — Matthew 5:41.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “Your good deed may be done, not under compulsion, but of your own free will.” — Philemon 14.

Be balanced. Industrious people are not lazy, nor are they workaholics. They aim for balance, finding enjoyment both in hard work and in periods of rest.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “Better is a handful of rest than two handfuls of hard work and chasing after the wind.” — Ecclesiastes 4:6. 

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Secret 9 Identity

— Posted in12 Secrets of Successful Families, Announcements, Awake!, Bible Study, Christian Living, Lifelong Learning 📚 Library — 3 min read

 With a strong personal identity, you can withstand powerful storms

WHAT IT MEANS
Your identity goes far beyond your name and appearance. It involves your values, beliefs and character. Really, your identity is everything that makes you, you – both inside and out.

WHY IT MATTERS
When you have a strong sense of identity, you stand up for your beliefs instead of allowing your peers to control you.

“A lot of people are like mannequins you see in a store display. They don’t choose the clothes they wear; others do.” — Adrian

“I’ve learned how to stand up for what is right even when it’s hard. I can tell who my real friends are by how they act and how I act around them.” — Courtney

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “Stop being molded by this system of things but be transformed by making your mind over.” — Romans 12:2.

WHAT YOU CAN DO
Develop a sense of who you are now and whom you want to become by analyzing your strengths, your weaknesses, and your convictions. A good way to start is to answer the following questions.

Strengths: What talents and skills do I have? What are my strong points? (For example: Am I punctual? self-controlled? hard working? generous?) What positive things do I do?

TIP: Are you having trouble identifying positive things about yourself? Ask a parent or a trusted friend what strengths he or she sees in you and why.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “Let each one examine his own actions, and then he will have cause for rejoicing in regard to himself alone, and not in comparison with the other person.” — Galatians 6:4.

Weaknesses: What aspects of my personality need the most work?When am I especially susceptible to temptation? In what areas could I exercise greater self-control?

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “If we make the statement, ‘We have no sin,’ we are misleading ourselves.” — 1 John 8.

 Convictions: What moral code do I follow, and why? Do I believe in God? What evidence has convinced me of his existence? What actions do I consider to be unjust, and why? What convictions do I hold about the future?

BIBLE PRINCEPLE: Thinking ability will keep watch over you, and discernment will safeguard you.” — Proverbs 2:11.

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Question 1 Who Am I?

— Posted inAnswers to 10 Questions Young People Ask, Bible Study, Christian Living, Lifelong Learning 📚 Library — 5 min read

WHY IT MATTERS

Knowing who you are and what you stand for will help you make wise decisions when you are under pressure.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Imagine this scenario: Karen is at a party for no ore than 10 minutes when she hears a familiar voice behind her.

“Why are you just standing there?”

Karen turns to see her friend Jessica clutching two freshly opened bottles. She can tell that they contain alcohol. Jessica holds one of the bottles right in front of Karen’s face and says, “You’re not too young to have a little fun, are you?”

Karen wants to refuse, but Jessica is her friend. And Karen does not want her friend to think she is boring. Besides, Jessica is one of the good girls. And if she’s drinking, then it must not be so bad. ‘It’s just a drink,’ Karen tells herself, ‘It’s not like taking drugs.’

If you were in Karen’s situation, what would you do?

✋🏻🛑 STOP AND THINK! To make a wise decision in this type of situation, you need an identity. An Identity is an inner sense that tells you who you are and what you stand for. Armed with that knowledge, you’re empowered to control your life instead of letting others control it for you. — 1 Corinthians 9:26, 27.

How can you develop that kind of strength? Answering the following questions is a good start.

  1. WHAT ARE MY STRENGTHS? Knowing your abilities and positive traits will boost your confidence.

    BIBLE EXAMPLE: The apostle Paul wrote: “Even if I am unskilled in speech, I certainly am not in knowledge.” (2 Corinthians 11:6) With his thorough grasp of the Scriptures, Paul was able to remain firm when others challenged him. He didn’t let their negative remarks weaken his confidence. (2 Corinthians 10:10, 11:5.

    ANALYZE YOURSELF
    Below, write down a talent or a skill that you possess.


    Now describe a strong quality that you have.
  2. WAHT ARE MY WEAKNESSES? Just as a chain is only as strong as its weakest link, your identity can quickly change for the worse if you let your weaknesses control your life.

    BIBLE EXAMPLE: Paul was aware of his weaknesses. He wrote: “I really delight in the law of God according to the man I am within, but I see in my body another law warring against the law of my mind and leading me captive to sin’s law.” — Romans 7:22, 23.

    ANALYZE YOURSELF
    What weaknesses do you need to learn to control?

  3. WHAT ARE MY GOALS?  Would you get into a taxi and tell the driver to circle the block repeatedly until his car ran out of fuel? That would be foolish — and costly!

    The lesson? Goals give your life direction and keep you from going in circles. You have somewhere to go and a plan of how to get there.

    BIBLE EXAMPLE: Paul wrote: “The way I am running is not aimlessly.” – (1 Corinthians 9:26) Rather than drift through life letting things happen to him, Paul set goals and then lived in accord with them. — Philippians 3:12-14.

    ANALYZE YOURSELF
    Below, write down three goals that you would like to reach within the next year.



  4. WHAT ARE MY CONVICTIONS? Without convictions, you’ll be indecisive. Like a chameleon, you’ll change colors to blend in with your peers – a sure sign that you don’t have your own identity.

    In contrast, when your actions are based on your convictions, you manifest your identity – regardless of what others do.

    BIBLE EXAMPLE: While likely still a teenager, the prophet Daniel “resolved in his heart” that he would obey God’s laws, even though he was separated from his family. (Daniel 1:8) By doing so, he stayed true to himself. Daniel lived according to his convictions.

    ANNALYZE YOURSELF
    What are your convictions? For example: Do you believe in God? If so, why? What evidence convinces you of his existence.

    Do you believe that God’s moral standards are for your own good? If so, why?

    In the end, which would you rather be like — a fallen leaf that gets blown around by every mild breeze or a tree that withstands even powerful storms? Strengthen your identity, and you’ll be like that tree. And that will help you answer the question, Who am I?

ACTION PLAN Look at the three goals you identified under question 3. Now write down one step you can take this month toward meeting each goal.

Goal 1

Goal 2

Goal 3

Original Articles: JW.org, Watchtower Online Library

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Radical Acceptance

— Posted inDBT: A Skills Training Manual, Distress Tolerance — 4 min read

 As we mentioned, Radical Acceptance transforms suffering into pain.

Radical acceptance is the full acknowledgement of reality. It is opening ourselves up to the moment, just as it is.

Radical Acceptance is accepting that you in the situation you are in and enduring that situation rather than trying to escape it by wishing it away, railing against how unfair it is, or doing something impulsive or self-destructive to try to change it.

Why is acceptance so hard?

Essentially, acceptance is the acknowledgement that we cannot change the situation either in the moment or at all. This is a horrible reality. It can feel like a loss to let go of the belief that the pain will go away. Some people have also learned messages that acceptance is not okay. Many people have learned to confuse Radical acceptance with approval — this is just not the case. Some people find it particularly difficult to accept when the reality is that someone refused a request of yours. While we can practice making effective requests through interpersonal effectiveness skills, the truth is that we cannot control whether our requests are granted. Others may confuse Radical Acceptance with passivity or giving up. You may have heard the expression “where there is a will there is a way.” We believe this statement doesn’t allow for a realistic view of the world and can lead people to believe their misfortune is partially their fault.

When people don’t practice acceptance, they are likely to fight or avoid reality instead. People might try to change the situation by throwing a ‘temper tantrum,’ threatening to end relationships or to harm themselves, or continuing to seek the same solutions. Sometimes, these strategies might even “work” (the situation does get changed) and this behavior is reinforced. These strategies almost always damage our relationships with others and ourselves and often result in less ability to change what is changeable later on. When people avoid reality or pain, they may use substances to dull it, push it out of their mind over and over again, or deny its existence. Strange as it may sound, attempts to avoid pain often create more pain. Additionally, if you always avoid pain, you may mistakenly come to believe you cannot tolerate your pain or that the pain will last forever.

Some people have noticed that non-acceptance often takes the form of the stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. This can be helpful in self-assessing whether you have found radical acceptance.

We all are successful at accepting some painful parts of reality. This may be things like a policy at work you don’t agree with, program or group rules you don’t like, or having to wait for someone. In some cases, you might not think twice about these things — that is a sign of deep acceptance. For things which are more difficult to accept, you are likely to need to practice acceptance over and over again.

To Practice Radical Acceptance

  • Say out loud what you have to accept in a tone that conveys belief
  • Allow thoughts of what you need to accept to enter into your mind while you attend to your body sensations
  • Imagine believing what you want to accept
  • Write out what you need to accept — don’t exaggerate and don’t minimize
  • Relax your face and body, half smile while practicing acceptance
  • Imagine all the things you would do if the facts you are trying to accept are true
  • Rehearse in your mind those things that you would do if you really did accept reality as it is
  • Act as if you have accepted reality
  • Allow your mind to be open to all the consequences of reality
  • Allow yourself to experience any emotions that come from your reality