Fighting Off Internal and External Enemies by Taking Careful Aim
The apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthias 9:26 that he is not “running aimlessly” and aiming his blows so as not to be striking the air. What does this mean for me? This means I must be single-minded and have sharp focus when pursuing my spiritual and other goals.
Not “running aimlessly” means setting goals based on my strengths, weaknesses and convictions. The foundation of knowing my strengths, weaknesses, convictions will help me to build a house with a solid foundation and not be aiming my blows as to strike the air. It means forming and living my true identity and not being formed by this world.
It is important that I periodically examine my life to be sure that all my daily activities are in accord with Jehovah God’s will for me and a road toward everlasting life. This means simplifying my life by discarding things I do not need and do not help me reach my goals. I also need to make sure all my activities are necessary and proper for the goals. This includes making sacrifices for Bible study and worship attendance. I also need to prepare for whatever activities are deemed appropriate and reduce or eliminate time wasters.
It is also important that my path be visible to all observes and be directed by Jehovah rather than myself or this world. Upon looking back, I see that I have spent much of my life “running aimlessly” without much evidence of a coherent path going anywhere. I need to improve this so that I am going in the right direction and it is witnessed by all.
In order to be a “doer” of the Word and not merely a “hearer” I must practice the principles I learn at meetings, in Bible Study, and from Bible-based publications. Hearing and not doing is tantamount to wasting time and striking the sky with my blows without landing a blow to the real enemy. I tend to absorb information without thought of using it and I need to change this behavior and practice. Practicing the principles will help me withstand temptation and change my bad habits.
I must be firm and rigorously honest in evaluating my weaknesses so I have a chance of not being tempted by them and can change my bad habits. This applies to evaluating my strengths an d setting my goals as well.
I must also learn to see myself as Satan sees me; a weak, fleshly being, that will give into temptation. Once I identify my weaknesses and bad habits, I must work at changing the habits and not being tempted by the weaknesses. Since it is easy to deceive myself into temptation; I must attend to my deceptive thoughts so I can change these thoughts or learn to ignore them.
How can I do these things?
I can do the things mentioned above by taking the training and instruction provided by Jehovah and practicing these principles in all my affairs. I must stop merely “striking the air” and practice, practice, practice. This practice will help me in aiming my blows correctly so I can defeat internal and external enemies on my way to everlasting life on a Paradise Earth. Aiming my blows correctly will preserve my energy. This will also show the necessary characteristics of self-control and self-discipline.
Who Am I?, Anwers to 10 Questions Young People Ask
Referenced Articles
Games, Insight on the Scriptures
Keep Contending for Jehovah’s Blessing, The Watchtower-Study, September 2016
Direct Your Blows Wisely, Kingdom Ministry, 2012
“Be Training Yourself”, The Watchtower-Study, October 1, 2002
How Are You Running in the Race for Life?, The Watchtower, August 1, 1992
Busy in Dead Works or Jehovah’s Service, The Watchtower, July 1, 1992
What Am I Responsible For
Acceptance
A magical potion is available to us today. That potion is called acceptance.
We are asked to accept many things: ourselves, as we are; our feelings, needs, desires, choices, and current status of being. Other people, as they are. The status of our relationships with them. Problems. Blessings. Financial status. Where we live. Our work, our tasks, our level of performance at these tasks.
Resistance will not move us forward, nor will it eliminate the undesirable. But even our resistance may need to be accepted. Even resistance yields to and is changed by acceptance.
Acceptance is the magic that makes change possible. It is not forever; it is for the present moment.
Acceptance is the magic that makes our present circumstances good. It brings peace and contentment and opens the door to growth, change, and moving forward.
It shines the light of positive energy on all that we have and are. Within the framework of acceptance, we figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves.
Acceptance empowers the positive and tells God we have surrendered to the Plan. We have mastered today’s lesson and are ready to move on.
Today, I will accept. I will relinquish my need to be in resistance to my environment and myself. I will surrender. I will cultivate contentment and gratitude. I will move forward in joy by accepting where I am today.
Resistance will not move us forward, nor will it eliminate the undesirable. But even our resistance may need to be accepted. Even resistance yields to and is changed by acceptance.
Acceptance is the magic that makes change possible. It is not forever; it is for the present moment.
Acceptance is the magic that makes our present circumstances good. It brings peace and contentment and opens the door to growth, change, and moving forward.
It shines the light of positive energy on all that we have and are. Within the framework of acceptance, we figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves.
Acceptance empowers the positive and tells God we have surrendered to the Plan. We have mastered today’s lesson and are ready to move on.
Today, I will accept. I will relinquish my need to be in resistance to my environment and myself. I will surrender. I will cultivate contentment and gratitude. I will move forward in joy by accepting where I am today.
Jehovah is Close to Me When I am Broken at Heart or Crushed in Spirit
Notes based on God Cares for You, The Watchtower, No. 1 2023, Mental Health–Help from the Bible.
The Bible is the best source of spiritual guidance. It is not a health-care manual, but it can help me in practical ways during distressing situations. Most important it assures me that our Creator Jehovah God understands my feelings.
The main point of Psalm 34:18 is that Jehovah will support me when I am sad and anxious and He is eager to help me cope without rejection.*
Why might I be broken at heart and crushed in spirit? Well, I have suffered injustices and abuses at the hands of others. Thoughts of these wrongs bring up painful feelings that sometimes cause feelings of worthlessness. When these times are ticking, I need to remember and be affirmed by how Jehovah will sustain me during these times because he is near and eager to provide comfort when I cry out to Him.** ***
- Jehovah is near is an expressive phrase that means Jehovah is always attentive and watchful. He is also eager to help me, when I call on Him.
- Those that are broken at heart refers to the general grief that I feel when I face memories of the past.
- Those who are crushed in spirit refers to those who feel they have nothing to look forward to. Though I have never felt this way I can imagine that it must feel terrible.***
In addition to what is mentioned above, here are some characteristics and feelings I have when I am broken at heart or crushed in spirit.
- have a contrite spirit
- be humbles for sin
- be emptied of self
- low in own eyes
- not confident in own merit****
* Can I Find Words of Comfort in the Bible?, Bible Questions Answered
** Do You Support Their Dignity?, The Watchtower, April 1, 1998.
*** Comfort for the Brokenhearted, The Watchtower, June 1, 2011
**** “The Tender Compassion of Our God,“ Draw Close to Jehovah
A Key to Recovery
My ability to communicate became distorted by alcoholism. I was helped a lot by the “Five Guides to Communication” in The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage, on pages 30-32. Those simple tips gave me solid guidance about more effective communication. Courtesy is the principle underlying them all.
Alcoholism stole courtesy from me. Al-Anon helped me put it back. My impatience and frustration caused me to be rude, sarcastic, and demanding in my topics and tone. Today, thanks to the following guides, I am better.
“Discuss, Don’t Attack.” I was always armed and ready to fight. I knew what he did wrong, and I had a mental list to prove it. To be able to discuss something means I must be calm and less emotional. That means using detachment and the slogans “Easy Does It” and “How Important Is It?” The principle is simple, yet the practice is difficult. Today I know that I need to get rid of my anger first before I discuss anything. There’s nothing worse than a hungry, angry, lonely, or tired Al-Anon member like me.
“Keep the Voice Low and Pleasant.” I know that as soon as I get emotional or excited about something, my voice gets louder and less pleasant. How do I keep my voice low? I practice in meetings and on the phone. Being pleasant comes from within. I find that if I look for the good in someone, I am more positive and pleasant. I try to remember what I like about the person.
“Stick to the Subject.” I am good at letting one thing lead to another-rambling, remembering, and finally blowing up. Now I do my best to remember that I can only resolve one problem at a time; thus only one subject needs to be discussed. Today I also attempt to keep in mind my primary purpose for a conversation, rather than get sidetracked by all the other distractions that can arise.
“Listen to His (or Her) Complaints.” I always took the complaints of others personally. I reacted badly. I have learned in Al-Anon that other people’s discontent my not be my problem, and I didn’t cause it. Knowing that people can feel bad, and that I don’t have to react or feel bad too, is very freeing. I think it’s a miracle when I can hear someone complain about me without letting it ruin my day. (It just tarnishes the moment!
“Don’t Make Demands.” In my frustration, I was very demanding. Today, Al-Anon teaches me to state my case and not even suggest a solution. I have learned that someone else might have a solution to my problem and even a better idea than mine. By putting my problems in the hands of a Higher Power and the ears of others, I am made aware of more choices. Today, I make an effort to ask for what I want and need, using a low and pleasant voice. What a different response I get!
As I write this, I realize that effective communication is difficult, and requires constant practice. That’s why service is a good opportunity for me to improve my skills. It allows me the chance, in a safe and accepting place, to practice these five principles. Once I develop a quiet and humble spirit-one that is free from suspicion, distrust, and anger-I will be better able to hear what others are truly saying.Perhaps they will hear me, too.
By Judy K., Nevada November, 2010
Decision-Making and Choices
Sometimes when I am in the midst of making a decision, I really struggle with knowing my Higher Power’s will for me. Occasionally I look outside myself for a sign. I’d rather see a neon light or something else just as obvious, but it doesn’t often happen that way. Usually the messages are more subtle, like going to a meeting that I don’t usually attend and hearing a speaker I’ve never heard before say exactly what I need to hear.
I need to remember to look inside for signs as well. How do I feel deep inside about a proposed course of action? Is my stomach churning with discomfort, or do I feel Calm, quiet, and solid? Do I feel knotted up with tension, or light, relaxed, and expansive?
For me the dilemma comes from wanting to make the “right” decision. If I’m not careful, I can get stuck at a crossroad of choices. I try to remember as long as I make decisions in the context of seeking my Higher Power’s will, whatever I do will be the right thing. “Do” is the operative word here. I once heard, “Without God, man cannot; without man, God will not.” If I don’t take some sort of action, my higher power doesn’t have anything to work with. Because decision-making is a self-correcting process, I can use any mistakes I make along the way to eventually guide me in the right direction. Even if I “decide” myself into a corner, I’m not alone. My Higher Power is with me everywhere I go.
Thought for the Day
Sometimes the choices I make are not as important as the fact that I make them.
“In contact with my Higher Power my ability to make choices works.”–Having Had a Spiritual Awakening…, p 68
👩🏻🎓 Self Knowledge
The most elusive knowledge of all is self-knowledge.
—Mirra Komarovsky
Discovering who we are is an adventure, one that will thrill and sometimes trouble us and will frequently occupy our thoughtful reflections. We are growing and changing as a result of our commitment to the program. And it’s that process of commitment that heightens our self-awareness.
We learn who we are by listening to others, by sensing their perceptions of us, by taking an honest, careful inventory of our own behavior. The inner conversations that haunt us while we’re interacting with others are poignant guidelines to self-knowledge, self-definition. Just when we think we’ve figured out who we are and how to handle our flaws, a new challenge will enter our realm of experiences, shaking up all the understandings that have given us guidance heretofore.
It is not an easy task to discover who we really are. It’s an even harder job to love and accept the woman we discover. But too many years went by while we avoided or denied or, worse yet, denounced the only person we knew how to be. The program offers us the way to learn about and love fully the person within. Nor will we find the way easy every day. But there’s time enough to let the process ease our investigation.
I will be soft and deliberate today as I listen to others and myself.
What Has Happened to Respect for Life?
WHY RESPECT FOR LIFE MATTERS
Practices and actions that show disrespect for life can adversely affect the health and the safety of a community.
- Cigarette smoking not only causes cancer but also interferes with the body’s ability to fight it. All told, About 90 percent of lung-cancer deaths can be attributed to smoking or to exposure to secondhand smoke.
- Mass shootings cause emotional trauma for many each year. A Stanford University report states: “Research indicates that even those who escape [school shootings] without any visible physical harm carry scars that could impair their lives for many years to come.”
- People driving wen under the influence of alcohol or drugs make roads and even pedestrian walkways unsafe. When people show a callous disregard for life, community members often become innocent victims.
WHAT YOU CAN DO
Protect your health. It’s never too late to give up harmful practices such as smoking, vaping, overdrinking, or taking recreational drugs. Such practices harm your life and show disrespect for the life of those around you, including family members.
📖 “Let us cleanse ourselves of every defilement of flesh.” — 2 Corinthians 7:1.
Be safety conscious. To prevent accidents, keep your home in good repair. Drive safely and keep your vehicle in safe condition. Do not let others pressure you into activities that can cause serious injury or death.
📖 “If you build a new house, you must also make a parapet for your roof, so that you may not bring bloodguilt on your house because of someone falling from it.” — Deuteronomy 22:8. (In the ancient Middle East, this wise requirement reflected a conscious concern for the safety of family members and others.)
Be kind to others. Respect for life includes how we view people from all racial, national, and social backgrounds. After all, prejudice and hatred are root causes of much of the world’s violence and warfare.
📖 “Put away from yourselves every kind of malicious bitterness, anger wrath, screaming, and abusive speech, as well as everything injurious. But become kind to one another.” — Ephesians 4:31, 32.
WHAT WE ARE DOING
Jehovah’s witnesses promote a balanced, healthy lifestyle. Our Bible education program has helped people to overcome addictions and destructive habits.
We adhere to strict safety standards in our construction projects. Volunteers who help build our meeting places and other facilities that are used to further our Bible educational work are trained to avoid injury. Our buildings are inspected on a regular basis so that they conform to local safety laws.
We provide humanitarian assistance. During a recent 12-month period, we responded to some 200 life-threatening disasters worldwide and spent nearly 12 million dollars of donated funds to provide relief for victims.
When Ebola outbreaks began to devastate the population of West Africa (2014) and the Democratic Republic of Congo (2018), we educated people on how to prevent the spread of the deadly disease. We sent representatives to speak to groups on the subject “Obedience Saves Lives.” We provided handwashing stations and other practical safeguards.
LEARN MORE
Oscar Serpas is a former gang member who at one time showed little respect for his own life and the life of others. Learn how Jehovah’s Witnesses helped him change. Search for the article “I Was Digging My Own Grave” on jw.org.
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Watchtower Online Library: Similar Material
Study Article 36 “Become Doers of the Word”
SONG 89 Listen, Obey, and Be Blessed
“Become Doers of the Word”
“Become doers of the word and not hearers only.”—JAS. 1:22.
FOCUS
This article will help us to strengthen our desire not only to read God’s Word daily but also to think about it and apply it in our life more fully.
1-2. What makes God’s servants happy? (James 1:22-25)
Your answer
JEHOVAH and his dear Son want us to be happy. The writer of Psalm 119:2 says: “Happy are those who observe his reminders, who search for him with all their heart.” Jesus gave further assurance, saying: “Happy are those hearing the word of God and keeping it!”—Luke 11:28.
2 As Jehovah’s worshippers, we are a happy people. Why? We have many reasons, but not to be overlooked is that we regularly read God’s Word and endeavor to apply what we learn.—Read James 1:22-25.
3. How do we benefit when we apply what we read in God’s Word?
Your answer
3 There are several ways in which we benefit when we “become doers of the word.” For one thing, we know that this is a key step in our pleasing Jehovah. Realizing that makes us happy. (Eccl. 12:13) As we put into practice what we read in God’s inspired Word, we improve our family life and build strong friendships with fellow believers. That has likely proved to be true in your life. Moreover, we avoid many of the problems that come to those who do not follow Jehovah’s ways. Indeed, we agree with King David. After mentioning in song the law, orders, and judgments of Jehovah, he concluded: “In keeping them, there is a large reward.”—Ps. 19:7-11.
4. Why is it a challenge to become doers of God’s Word?
Your answer
4 Realistically, it is not always easy for us to become doers of God’s Word. We must make time in our busy schedules to read and study the Bible in order to understand what Jehovah wants us to do. So let us review some suggestions that can help us to read it regularly. We will also consider what will help us to think about what we read and see ways in which we can apply what we learn in our life.
SET TIME ASIDE TO READ GOD’S WORD
5. What responsibilities take up much of our time?
Your answer
5 Most of Jehovah’s people lead very busy lives. We spend a great amount of time caring for our various Scriptural responsibilities. For instance, most of us work secularly to provide for ourselves and for our families. (1 Tim. 5:8) Many Christians look after sick or elderly relatives. And all of us need to care for our own health, which takes time. In addition to these responsibilities, we have assignments in the congregation. A key responsibility is to have a zealous share in the preaching work. With all the obligations that you personally have, how can you find the time to read the Bible regularly, meditate on what you read, and apply what it says?
6. How can you make Bible reading a priority? (See also picture.)
Your answer
6 Bible reading is one of “the more important things” for us as Christians, so we need to make it a priority. (Phil. 1:10) Regarding the happy man, the very first psalm says: “His delight is in the law of Jehovah, and he reads His law in an undertone day and night.” (Ps. 1:1, 2) Clearly, that suggests setting time aside for such reading. When is the best time to read the Bible? The answer may be different for each of us. But put simply, it would be a time when you can do so regularly. A brother named Victor says: “I like to do my Bible reading in the morning. Even though I’m not a morning person, there are fewer distractions in the early hours. My mind is clear, and I can focus better.” Might this be true in your case? Ask yourself, ‘When is the best time for me to read the Bible?’
A sister reading the Bible while her young daughter sleeps in a nearby bedroom.
When is the best time to read the Bible? When can you do so regularly? (See paragraph 6)
CONSIDER WHAT YOU READ
7-8. What might prevent us from benefiting fully from what we read? Illustrate.
Your answer
7 The reality is, though, that we may consistently read a lot of material without really absorbing it. Have you ever read something and shortly afterward could recall little of what you read? We all have had that happen. Sadly, this can be the situation with our Bible reading. Perhaps we set a goal to read a certain number of chapters of the Bible each day. That is commendable. We should set goals and strive to stick to them. (1 Cor. 9:26) However, reading the Bible is a start—a good start, but only a start. More is needed if we are to benefit fully from reading God’s Word.
8 Think of this comparison: Water, often in the form of rain, is essential to life. But if too much rain falls within a short amount of time, the ground may become oversaturated. When that happens, more rain will not be beneficial. The soil needs time to absorb the rain that has fallen and make it available to the vegetation. Likewise, we should avoid reading the Bible in a hurried manner, that is, so quickly that we fail to absorb and remember and use what we read.—Jas. 1:24.
A brother reading the Bible. Collage: 1. Heavy rain floods the ground where seedlings grow, causing the plants to struggle. 2. Light rain is absorbed by the ground where seedlings grow, causing the plants to flourish.
Just as the ground needs time to absorb and make use of rain, we need time to reflect on and apply what we read in God’s Word (See paragraph 8)
9. What should we do if we have developed the habit of speed-reading the Bible?
Your answer
9 Have you found that on occasion you are merely speed-reading the Bible? What should you do? Slow down. Make the effort to think about what you are reading or have just read. This does not have to be daunting. If the encouragement to meditate seems that way to you, perhaps you could view meditating as simply thinking about what you have read. You may decide to lengthen your study period to include time for such thinking, or meditation. On the other hand, you may choose to read fewer verses and use the remaining time to think over what you have read. “I keep my Bible reading short, maybe one chapter,” says Victor, quoted earlier. “Because I read early in the morning, I’m able to keep reflecting throughout the day on what I read.” Whatever method you use, it is vital to read at a pace that will allow you to get the most out of what you read.—Ps. 119:97; see the box “Questions to Consider.”
Questions to Consider
A good way to get the most out of your Bible reading is to consider one or more of the following questions as you read:
What does this tell me about Jehovah?
How does this section of the Scriptures contribute to the Bible’s message?
How can I realistically apply this in my life?
How can I use these verses to help others?
10. Illustrate how you might apply what you are learning. (1 Thessalonians 5:17, 18)
Your answer
10 Regardless of when you do your Bible reading and how much time you spend doing it, be sure to look for ways to apply what you read. As you go over a portion of God’s Word, ask yourself, ‘How can I apply this information now or in the near future?’ To illustrate, let’s say that your Bible reading included 1 Thessalonians 5:17, 18. (Read.) After reading those two verses, you could stop and think of how often and how deeply you pray. Also, you could reflect on things for which you are grateful. Maybe you determine that you will thank Jehovah for three specific things. With even a few minutes of such focused attention, you will to some extent become a hearer and a doer of God’s Word. Think of how you would benefit by repeating this process each day with other portions of the Bible that you read! Yes, you will grow as a doer of God’s Word. What, though, if it seems that there are so many things you need to work on?
SET MODEST GOALS
11. Why might you feel overwhelmed at times? Give an example.
Your answer
11 When you read the Bible and look for ways to apply its guidance, you may at times feel overwhelmed. Think of this scenario: Today your Bible reading includes counsel against showing favoritism. (Jas. 2:1-8) You see that you could improve on how you treat others, so you decide to make some changes. Excellent! Then tomorrow you read a passage that highlights the importance of controlling your speech. (Jas. 3:1-12) You realize that on occasion your speech has been somewhat negative. So you determine that you will be more positive and upbuilding. Your Bible reading the next day includes a warning against becoming a friend of the world. (Jas. 4:4-12) You notice that you need to be more selective in your choice of entertainment. By the fourth day, you might feel rather overwhelmed by all the things you need to work on.
12. Why should you not be discouraged if your Bible reading reveals that you need to make changes? (See also footnote.)
Your answer
12 If you need to make a number of changes or improvements, do not be discouraged. This is evidence that you have a good heart condition. A person who is humble and honest with himself reads the Scriptures with a view to seeing what he needs to work on. a Remember, too, that putting on “the new personality” is an ongoing process. (Col. 3:10; compare the study note “is being made new.”) What will help you to keep being a doer of God’s Word?
13. How can you set a modest number of goals? (See also picture.)
Your answer
13 Instead of trying to apply everything you read all at once, set a modest number of goals. (Prov. 11:2) You might try this approach: Keep a list of the things you need to work on, and then select one or two of these to work on first, leaving the other items to be pursued in time. Where should you start?
Collage: 1. A sister writes a note while doing personal study. 2. She places the note on her bulletin board. The note reads: “This week, mildness, Proverbs 15:1.”
Instead of trying to work on everything you read in the Bible all at once, why not set modest goals? Perhaps focus on one or two points (See paragraphs 13-14)
14. Which goals can you start with?
Your answer
14 You may decide to start with a goal that is easier for you to reach. Or you might choose to work on an area that you feel needs the most improvement. Once you have identified your goal, do research in our publications, perhaps using the Watch Tower Publications Index or the Research Guide for Jehovah’s Witnesses. Pray about your goal, asking Jehovah for “both the desire and the power to act.” (Phil. 2:13) Then put into practice what you have learned. Having made progress on your first goal, you will likely feel more motivated to work on another one. In fact, when you improve in one aspect of Christian living or on one Christian quality, you will probably find it easier to do so in other areas.
LET GOD’S WORD BE “AT WORK IN YOU”
15. How are Jehovah’s people different from many who read the Bible? (1 Thessalonians 2:13)
Your answer
15 Some people claim to have read the Bible dozens of times. But do they truly believe in the Bible? Have they applied it or allowed it to affect the course of their life? Sadly, often the answer is no. What a contrast with Jehovah’s people! Like first-century Christians, we accept the Bible “just as it truthfully is, as the word of God.” Moreover, we strive to demonstrate that it is at work in our life.—Read 1 Thessalonians 2:13.
16. What can help us to become doers of the Word?
Your answer
16 It is not always easy to read and apply God’s Word. We may struggle to find time to read. Or we may tend to read at a very rapid pace and not absorb much of what we read. Or we may feel overwhelmed by all the improvements we need to make. Whatever your challenge may be, it is not insurmountable. With Jehovah’s help, you can overcome it. May we be determined to accept his help and become, not forgetful hearers, but doers of the Word. Without a doubt, the more we read God’s Word and apply it in our life, the happier we will be.—Jas. 1:25.
WHAT CAN HELP US TO . . .
set time aside for Bible reading?
Your answer
meditate, or reflect, on what we read?
Your answer
apply what we read?
Your answer
SONG 94 Grateful for God’s Word
a See on jw.org the video What Your Peers Say—Bible Reading.
Lesson 2 How to Be Humble
Train Now
A child who learns to perform humble tasks at home is more likely to work well with others as an adult.
WHAT IS HUMILITY?
Humble people are respectful. They do not behave arrogantly, nor do they expect others to treat them as special. Rather a person with humility takes genuine interest in others and is willing to learn from them.
Sometimes humility is misjudged as a weakness. In reality, it is a strength that helps people recognize their faults and acknowledge their limitations.
WHY IS HUMILITY IMPORTANT?
- Humility benefits relationships. “Overall humble people are more connected to others,” says the book The Narcissism Epidemic. It adds that such people find it “easier to relate to other people and the wider world.”
- Humility benefits your child’s future. Learning to be humble will help your child both now and later in life — for example, when seeking employment, “The young person with bloated self-esteem, unaware of her own deficiencies, is unlikely to do well in the job interview,” writes Dr. Leonard Sax. “But the young person who is genuinely interested in what the recruiter has to say is more likely to get the job.” (The Collapse of Parenting)
HOW TO TEACH HUMILITY
Encourage a balanced view of self.
BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he is deceiving himself.” — Galatians 6:3.
- Avoid misleading maxims. Sayings like “All your dreams can come true” and “You can be anything you want to be” might sound inspiring, but they often do not prove true in real life. Your children will likely be more successful if they have reasonable goals and work hard to achieve them.
- Praise specific actions. Simply telling a child that he or she is “awesome” does not encourage humility. Be specific.
- Limit your child’s use of social media. Often, social media is linked with self-promotion — broadcasting a person’s talents and accomplishments — the very opposite of humility.
- Encourage your child to apologize quickly. Help your child to see where he is wrong and to acknowledge it.
Promote gratitude.
BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “Show yourselves thankful.” — Colossians 3:15.
- Gratitude for creation. Children should appreciate nature and how much we depend on it for survival. We need air to breathe, water to drink, and food to eat. Use these examples to instill appreciation, awe, and gratitude for the wonders of the natural world.
- Gratitude for people. Remind your child that everyone is superior to him in one way or another and that instead of being jealous of others’ skills and abilities, he can learn from them.
- Expressing gratitude. Teach your children to say “thank you,” not just with words but with genuine appreciation. A grateful spirit has been called a building block of humility.
Teach your children that there is value in serving others.
BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “With humility consider others superior to you, as you look out not only for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.” — Philippians 2:3,4.
- Expect your child to do chores. Exempting your child from family chores might give him the message, ‘You are too important to do this!’ Family duties should come first and playing second. Point out how chores benefit others and how others will appreciate and respect him for doing them.
- Emphasize that serving others in a privilege. Doing so is a primary way to develop maturity. Therefore, encourage your child to identify those in need. Discuss with him what he can do to help them. Commend and support your child as he serves others.
Teach by Example
- Do I let my children know that at times I need help from others?
- Do I speak positively and appreciatively about others, or do I belittle them?
- Do my children see that I value serving others?
What We Did…
“Our daughter told us about a classmate who, she said, is mean to others and is not liked. I told her to think about what the girl might be going through at home. After all, not everybody has a good family life. That helped our daughter to see that she is not better than others. She just ay have better circumstances.” — Karen.
“We encourage our daughters to enjoy what they learn in school and simply to do their best without comparing themselves to others. We want them to know that we will not compare them to others.” — Marianna.
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Teach your child humility without damaging his or her self-worth.
Awake!
One type of praise has proven to be the most effective.
Become Jehovah’s Freind
Caleb learns what it means to be humble.
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